Anti Tiva
by Fictionnaire
Summary: Song parody of Leary's 'I'm An Asshole' As title suggests this is purely an Anti Tiva one shot song parodies  Reviews, comments are welcomed.  Dedicated to those who have asked for TIVA in my stories... Enjoy


**Anti - TIVA**  
**Song Parodied: Dennis Leary's (I'm an Asshole)**

G'day ficcers... I'd like to sing yas a song 'bout Fanfiction shipping  
'bout popular ones or not.  
There's one that is popular to most... The one that people love from deep in their hearts  
It gives most fans a special feeling... You know that warm feeling that warms your heart?  
Maybe it warms you below the heart  
That warm & fuzziness down below  
Maybe even further down, you know what I mean?  
It may even make your knees weak... Hell I don't know

I'm just a regular writer who doesn't do the usual ship  
I'm your average action slash adventure writer tryin' to be hip  
I like case stories or even the occasional sexual fantasy  
What I write is your average story that's mainly unshipped  
I really don't write what if Ziva and Tony were man and wife  
Instead I like a really good murder with a good ole knife

But sometimes that aint enough to keep some readers interested  
Damn right... uh huh. Uh huh.  
Truth be told... I find it quite funny, I really have a good laugh  
Oh yeah yeah, yeah I do... Yeah yeah yeah.  
They ask me in some of my stories... Reviewers shout TIVA!  
It drives me insane... So, I sing this song to shut those people up...

I'm Anti-TIVA (He's Anti-TIVA) Yes... I'm Anti-TIVA  
I'm Anti-TIVA (He's Anti-TIVA) Yes... I'm Anti-TIVA

I pair Tony up with anyone else... From that JAG chic to Kate  
TIVA is a real nice word... But in no way it sounds better than TATE

That's because... I'm anti-TIVA (He's Anti-TIVA) Damn right I'm Anti-TIVA  
I'm Anti-TIVA(He's Anti-TIVA) Yes... I'm Anti-TIVA

I even had poor Tony in hospital very, very sick with poison and a high Fever  
The others were trying to find the culprit but still some scream TIVA!

Don't they understand? I'm Anti-TIVA (He's Anti-Tiva) Damn right I'm Anti-TIVA  
I'm Anti-TIVA (He's Anti-TIVA) Yes! I'm Anti-TIVA

I guess I shouldn't be singin' what I am singing  
TIVA is a popular ship, but I'm not into popular shipping  
I think you can see a ship anywhere if you turn your head sideways  
And look while squinting

But I can't see TIVA! (He's Anti-TIVA) Yes! I'm Anti-TIVA  
I'm Anti-TIVA! (He's Anti-TIVA) Yes! I'm Anti-TIVA

But you know what I'm gonna do now in this song  
List all the reasons why I think TIVA is very wrong  
So here it is... from end of six to series seven...  
It was a heart wrenching affair with Rivkin. It turned out wrong.  
It musta been difficult for her... To see her lover killed that way  
But A... Did you have to accuse Tony of murdering him  
But B... Was it right to knock Tony down and hurt his injured shoulder  
But C... Was it right to ask Gibbs to choose between you and Tony  
And D... Like Tony hate him... But coulda shoulda thanked him for the rescue  
What about the way Ziva looked amused when Tony couldn't access his own money?  
Ziva hated it when Tony delved into her love life... Her feelings were quite clear  
But hey! Wait a minute... Did you not do the same a couple of years ago?  
I'm not saying there should never be TIVA on the NCIS show  
I'm just saying that Ziva has a lot to make up for... That is a fact  
Maybe one day, the former Mossad Liaison Officer can redeem herself  
But right this moment, she's managed to skip through all the backlash.  
I'd say that TATE... Tony and Kate... would be a better choice to be writ and read  
But it's kinda sick when canonically, Kate is really, really dead  
So to all those narrow minded readers who shout TIVA at me  
In the immortal words of DX... I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU!  
Faith Coleman... (You didn't think I'll be rude now, did you?)

(Faith Coleman and Tony? You are kidding right?)  
Let me sing this song mate... Okay?  
I'm Anti-TIVA (He's Anti-TIVA) Damn straight I'm Anti-TIVA  
I'm Anti-TIVA (He's Anti-TIVA) You're damn right about that

(But TIVA is so sweet) I'll spell it out for you, Mate  
I A-M A-N-T-I T-I-V-A  
EVERYBODY  
A-N-T-I T-I-V-A

I'm Anti TIVA and proud of it.


End file.
